I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
pop tarts are not kleenex
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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