I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
