She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
