Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
