It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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