I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
