Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
