how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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