I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize