I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
