her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I deserve this hangover.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize