It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
