it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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