her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
