I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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