How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
