Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
