just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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