i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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