I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
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how do flat chested girls get laid?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize