so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
