At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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