can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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