I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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