It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
