Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
