You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
