Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
