your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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