all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
