Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Randomize
