Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
jump out the window naked night went bad
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
