Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
