So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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