Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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