I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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