Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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