I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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