Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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