we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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