my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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