how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
