I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
