i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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