You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
