She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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