i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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