Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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