I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize