Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
