i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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