I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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