i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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