you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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