Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just cropdusted the office
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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