and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
