It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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