I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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