I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
