Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize