if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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