I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize