I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He shit in the fireplace
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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