He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
