You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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