I want to stick my p in your. b.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
