Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
